World’s greatest mouth-cleaner? #TackyBox Review pt. 2

February 17, 20141st grade, Discipline, Parenting, problem solver, Product RecommendationsLara

Since the Tacky Box review pt 1, our Tacky Box has seen quite a bit of usage. Our resident tattler twin has been redirected towards it whenever she has a grievance against her sister, and there is now a good accumulation of Tacky memo notes inside it.

The interesting thing about that, is while the offender has been pretty careful to not repeat “Tacky” words, she is also pretty creative in coming up with new ones. Hence the accumulation of Tacky notes in our Tacky Box.

Our family has also had some pretty good conversations when our twins come home from school and inquire whether or not a classmate’s words or behavior qualify as “Tacky”. (I really like this as it shows my kids are not just passive sponges when it comes to their peers’ behavior, but they are observing and applying their judgment as to whether something is right or wrong.)

And when I accidentally flambe`ed something at the stove and said a naughty word, there was a chorus of little voices calling me out on uttering a “Tacky” word. I asked them to please write and put that word in the Tacky Box while I dealt with the equivalent of Pompeii in the kitchen, but I was informed that “That word is already in the Tacky Box, Mommy, from the last time you said it!”

Oops.

Moving on…

And in the past, where I would have had to repeatedly ask that certain behaviors be stopped, now I only have to remind the child that that sort of thing is “Tacky”, and surprisingly, she stops it.

I like this Tacky Box.

Guest Poem – “Boys Will Be Boys” by Fortesa Latifi*

February 11, 2014ParentingLara

While many parents and caregiving adults make conscious efforts to reduce childhood bullying, there is unfortunately a lot that is either overlooked,or unconfronted, perhaps due to taken-for-granted relationship dynamics that haven’t been re-evaluated in far too long, or perhaps because at such young ages, it’s seen as unneeded or unnecessary.

Believe me, it’s never too early to inculcate respect for others, whatever their gender, in the minds of our children, given the long-term effects and consequences. I hope this poem helps aid others in those conversations.

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“when she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground
she fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs
when she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said ‘boys will be boys honey don’t let it bother you
he probably just thinks you’re cute’
but the thing is,
when you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same
you teach her that boys show their affection through aggression
and she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two
because no one ever taught her the difference
‘boys will be boys’
turns into
‘that’s how he shows his love’
and bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips
she goes to school with a busted mouth in high school and says she was hit with a basketball instead of his fist
the one adult she tells scolds her
‘you know he loses his temper easily
why the hell did you have to provoke him?’
so she shrinks
folds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice
by the time she’s 16 she’s learned her job well
be quiet, be soft, be easy
don’t give him a reason
but for all her efforts, he still finds one
‘boys will be boys’ rings in her head
‘boys will be boys
he doesn’t mean it
he can’t help it’
she’s 7 years old on the playground again
with a mouth full of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love
because boys will be boys baby don’t you know
that’s just how he shows he cares
she’s 18 now and they’re drunk
in the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears they’re ruined
like a glass heirloom being dropped between the hands of generations
she meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn’t save them in this moment
she touches the bruise the next day
boys will be boys
aggression, affection, violence, love
how does she separate them when she learned so early that they’re inextricably bound, tangled in a constant tug-of-war
she draws tally marks on her walls ratios of kisses to bruises
one entire side of her bedroom turns purple, one entire side of her body
boys will be boys will be boys will be boys
when she’s 20, a boy touches her hips and she jumps
he asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh
doesn’t he know that boys will be boys?
it took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground
so I guess what I’m trying to say is
i will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely separate things
baby they exist in difference universes
my niece can’t even speak yet but I think I’ll start with her now
don’t ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys
don’t ever let him put his hands on you like that
if you see hate blazing in his eyes don’t you ever confuse it with love
baby love won’t hurt when it comes
you won’t have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer
and
the only reason he should ever reach out his hand
is to hold yours”

—Fortesa Latifi - Boys Will Be Boys
(And Why That Is The Stupidest Thing You Could Ever Say To A Little Girl)

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*Reprinted with author’s permission. Copyright belongs to the author. Poem can be found on the author’s website here.

“We’d rather trash food than feed your child.”

February 3, 2014Mama Stuff, mealtimesLara

There are just some people who shouldn’t work in certain jobs.

Marriage counselors who’ve never been married.

Child psychologists/psychiatrists who’ve never had kids.

School workers who’ve donated their hearts and brains to science, yet still keep ticking.

With that last one, I’m of course speaking of the recent debacle that’s been in the news, about the Salt Lake, UT school district that figured it was better to throw fine food in the TRASH, rather than feed it to hungry kids who had deficits in their school lunch accounts.

Yep, that’s right. They let the kids get all the way to the register, lunch in hand, before taking it away at the end of the line and THROWING IT IN THE TRASH.

The lame-brained excuse for this – “Food that’s already been served, can’t be served to another student, so it must be thrown away.” was deemed a perfectly fine way to deal with the matter.

Now tell me, how the hell can a child learn in an environment that is so mean-spirited, cruel and disrespectful that it tells kids – ‘We would rather throw food in the garbage than see it fed to the likes of YOU!”

Nope, they couldn’t just withold that quarter’s report card, or next year’s grade promotion until the account’s paid up. Nosiree, better to waste food in front of hungry children, ruin it so it couldn’t be eaten, because the kids couldn’t pay for it.

How the hell is that “saving money”? Really, if the school cared so damn much about the money, why have that food be wasted?

Answer: They didn’t care about the money at all. Some sadistic piece of human filth wanted to get their kicks by virtually spitting in the faces of these kids, scarring them for life.

Someone this morally twisted has no business being around kids in any capacity, let alone making any kind of decisions that affect kids.

This is abuse. Why is an abusive person like this allowed to have this job? Why are they continued to be allowed to have this job? I’m reading reports on the news that the school has “apologized”, but not word one from the sicko that masterminded this display of obvious cruelty towards children, let alone any announcement that they’ve been removed from their position.

Why the hell not?

Celebrate National Hot Tea Month in January w/ Red Rose & Salada Giveaway!

January 18, 2014Giveaways, Product RecommendationsLara

Since I’ve gotten my Keurig beverage maker, tea-making is super easy and a matter of mere moments away from enjoyment. Despite its reputation for brewing coffee, I primarily use it for making my tea.

I’m ever so happy every time I see some of my favorite tea companies come out with a new flavor of tea in K-cups.

Just in time for National Hot Tea Month – January – Red Rose Tea & Salada Tea have come out with some fun new flavors to ward off the Polar Vortex chill!

Salada ACTIVE BLEND Green Tea – Energy Boost (single serve cups)

This was a fun flavor to try. The green tea isn’t overwhelming, and the blueberry flavor is present but subtle. It leaves a genuinely fruity, lightly sweet aftertaste and is just the thing to keep me awake while I sort through my income tax papers.

Salada ACTIVE BLEND Green Tea – Fiber Boost (single serve cups)

This is a lively blend flavored with lemon. The green tea is not overwhelming, is lightly sweetened, and in addition to hydrating me, the added fiber helps smooth things along, if you know what I mean

Red Rose Simply Indulgent Cinnamon Bun (single serve cups)

This flavor really is indulgent! Lightly sweet, it’s chock-full of cinnamon flavor, but not spicy or overwhelming. Who needs to over-pay for fancy-schmancy java-house beverages when this delicious, cost-effective option is so simple to make and so readily available?

(Sometimes I don’t even brew this one as tea, but blend it with some milk and ice to make my own “teap-accino” )

Red Rose Simply Indulgent Crème Caramel

I love caramel. I’d bathe in the stuff if I could (and if it wouldn’t clog the drain so badly ) So I was a happy camper indeed with this delicious flavor! It has a nice caramel flavor, but not cloying, with a lovely finish. This flavor is available with traditional tea bags (but my Keurig makes short work of hotting up the water, so I’m still sipping away in no time at all )

(Another thing I really like about these two brands is that you can recycle the little plastic single-serve containers!)

So when that arctic chill gets to be too much for you, and you don’t want to load on calories to treat yourself, try out any of the new Salada or Red Rose flavors in your cuppa.

Check your local supermarket to see which of the new flavors they have available, then kick back and enjoy! You can either buy these delicious blends online, or you can find a listing of store locations where you can purchase these teas at:

Salada Tea

Red Rose Tea

To help you celebrate National Hot Tea Month, Salada & Red Rose Tea have TEAmed up to generously offer a prize-pack of full-size boxes of the 4 teas mentioned in my review to one of my readers!* (ARV $30)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*Product may be substituted for other flavors.

***Red Rose Tea and Salada Tea provided me with sample product to facilitate this review, and also provided a similar sampling set as a giveaway prize for my readers. All opinions in this review are my own and were not influenced by compensation.