Free Range Babies

Well, it took some doing, but somehow we managed to cram nearly everything that was in the living room into boxes, closets, or other nooks and crannies, so that we could put up a room-dividing gate.  The girls now have free access to most of the apartment.  Only the computer area, kitchen and bathroom are off limits.  And the bedroom if I’m not there.

For nearly two hours I got on my hands and knees on a hard, cold, tile floor – trying to apply yards and yards of clear duct tape to cable wires, phone wires, any chipped/cracked paint, pliering out small nails and scrubbing down floor-level A/C grating.

And what did the little darlings do when we released them into their expanded habitat?  They stared in bewilderment and then cried.  Long and loud pitiful wails.  I felt like the most evil mama on the planet. Sigh…

I thought they would pitter-patter out on tiny baby feet, stare around in awe and wonder and have big snaggle-toothy grins as they crowed in delight and danced a merry jig.

Dream on, evil mama, dream on…sigh…

After copius application of Blue’s Clues vids, they eventually became more comfortable in their larger environs.  Comfortable enough, it seems, to then ferret out every single even-remotely potentially harmful thing.  They scurried here to dismantle the verticle blinds (more duct-tape, mom, please!), they scurried there to pick at microscopic splinters under the coffee table (again, with the duct tape).  Zanna immediately got in touch with her latent climbing genes and tried to scale Mt. Armchair (and thankfully only landed on her well-padded butt -let’s hear it for cloth diapers, hurray!)

They even bent down to lick the floor a time or two.  Blechh!!

Zanna seems to have more appetite for the petrified crumbs on the floor from yesterday’s dinner, than for her nice, fresh, tasty food that mama slaved over a hot stove to make.  I sweep and I wipe, but the petrified crumbs fall through a hole in the space-time vortex of an alternate dimension and magically appear on my living room floor.  Or maybe she summons them from the lands in the Great Beyond.  Who knows.  The mystical powers of toddlers are mysterious and infinite and beyond our ken.


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