Things that irritate me on kiddie tv

We don’t let our kids watch commercial tv.  We do, however, let them watch carefully selected dvds and videos.

Spongebob Squarepants (who my twins refer to as “Mister Meancheese”) is persona non grata in our home.

Dora the Explorer, with her grotesquely huge eyeballs and videogame-like approach to solving her dilemmas is also unwelcome.

Diego though, is quite welcome.  As are the Wonderpets, the Backyardigans, Blue’s Clues and Zoboomafoo, as well as a number of others.

But even among those welcomed into our living room, there are things that just steam my bucket of crabs, if you get my drift:

Have you ever noticed that while Diego is imploring his pre-K audience for help in rescuing some hapless beastie, said beastie is dangling precariously over the open and slavering jaws of death while Diego takes his own sweet time, carefully correcting the volume and pronunciation of whatever the kids have to shout at him to get him to move his animated little butt and save the critter?

And where are Diego’s parents?  We see infrequent glimpses of them from time to time, but nowhere are they to be found when Diego is about to get his head ripped off by an anaconda or somesuch!  They let this little boy (he’s what? 7 years old?) snowboard, rappel up and down mountainsides, brave puma attacks and other similar instances of reckless child endangerment and neglect.  And they must pay pretty good for child labor in the jungle, because Diego is tricked out with the latest in techie rescue gear!

Moving on…

The Wonderpets is next to draw my maternal ire.  Where the H.E. Double Matchsticks are the endangered animals’ parents!? Why is it they only show up AFTER their “precious” babies are rescued by a sentimental turtle, an avaricious glory-seeking duckling and a well-intentioned guinea pig.  Sure, they thank the Wonderpets sincerely and often dole out a snack to accompany the ubiquitous celery chunks the ‘Pets chow down on, but apparently in Wonderpets land, parents have better things to do than to keep their offspring out of mortal danger!

Doesn’t this have a flavor reminicient of Disneyesque matricide?

In Disney movies, the parents are either absent altogether, with no explanation provided, or the mother has died (or is viciously murdered on- or off-screen) and the father is usually either a tyrant, a crackpot or decrepitly old.  Or just asleep.  For the duration.  Or neurotic as all get-out.

Gee, for a “family-friendly” company, they’re not doing too well on P.R.ing for parents!

And there’s loads more I could unload about, but perhaps that’s enough for today.

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