However, I am posting this because it might be helpful to other parents of small children.
That said, on with the show!
Everything seemed to be going fine with the twins getting used to school. They’d come home with tales of the singing and dancing that went on there, and seemed to look forward to going back.
Then I picked them up at the end of last week, and Halle was crying a little. “Kid pushed me!” she said.
Her teacher explained that both Halle and the other child had been pushing each other and the teacher had had to separate them, but it wasn’t hardcore pushing, so no problem.
That afternoon, though, Halle started exhibiting another problem: She refused to let me wipe her during diaper changing. She locked her legs and begging, bribing, nothing worked. It took almost 10 minutes to get her changed.
Naturally I was concerned, especially since she said things like “It’s scary!” (scary is the twins’ new favorite word), “I don’t like that!” and “It’s owie!”
When I finally got her legs pried apart, I saw no signs of injury or inflammation, but I asked her if anyone had made an owie there. She shook her head “No”.
So then I thought it might be a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), but I saw no signs of distress when she was filling her diapers that weekend, plus she had no fever, chills, or cramps, so that was out.
And, at bathtime, she had no problem letting me have access to soap and rinse her diaper area, but afterwards, she still fought the diaper changing.
This was becoming a real mystery.
I tried offering her the wipes (except for poos) and asking her to help me wipe her. She seemed to like this, but didn’t seem so adamant about doing it on subsequent diaper changings.
I asked her again if she had gotten owies at school. She repeated about the othe kid pushing her and then said “Teacher give me owies.”
So I asked her where the teacher gave her owies, and she pointed to her chest. (I assumed that was where the teacher had touched her in separating her and the other child from each other. There were no marks or signs of force, so I didn’t worry.)
Then I asked her “Did the teacher give you owies here?” and I pointed directly at her crotch.
She shook her head no and clearly said “No.”
Well, I typed up the whole shebang in a nice letter to the school director, and asked her for suggestions, since we had ruled out abuse and UTI’s.
And on Monday morning, right before school, Halle FINALLY made it a little clearer what the problem might be.
While having her diaper changed that morning, Halle, very loudly and clearly, said “I a BIG girl, I don’t want a diaper!!”
So along with the letter, I also informed the nursery school director and we came up with a plan. The teachers would ask both of the girls if they wanted to use the potty, and would ask both of the girls if they wanted their diaper changed. Apparently they had been automatically changing the diapers at 11am, even if the diaper was still mostly dry.
So we decided to see if this was Halle’s way of telling us she wanted more control over her diapers and potty.
That evening, after school, Halle didn’t give us so much trouble over the diaper, and both she and Zanna seemed very happy to have a chance at the potty.
And they actually did sit on the potty this time, not just rampage around the bathroom like wild monkeys.
It’s definitely more stressful these days, or maybe it seems that way to me because now I’m a mother, myself. There are so many things to watch out for, and even if someone seems like the most trustworthy person imaginable, parents STILL have to be on their guard. I’ve attended a class on warning signs to look for in identifying potential predators, and how to prepare a child so they don’t become easy prey.
At the playground, I can’t just sit on my butt reading a book, I have to watch my kids, make sure other kids or adults aren’t a danger to them, make sure my kids aren’t a danger to other kids, make sure no strangers are lurking around ready to snatch a child if a parent seems inattentive.
All of this is very stressful, but unfortunately very necessary in today’s world.
I think that rather than relying on some ‘honor system’ where convicted sex offenders or child molesters are TRUSTED to stay the mandated number of feet away from schools and playgrounds, I think they should be implanted with a microchip, and all schools and playgrounds fitted with a proximity alert sensor, and if the offenders get too close, an electric shock or sedative is administered via the microchip. The microchip should also be tracked via satellite, so that if it ‘goes off the grid’ or otherwise malfunctions, or is set off by proximity, an immediate alert goes to the authorities.
Personally, I’m with Jesus on this one: ” It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. [Luke 17:2] ”
Jesus, the all-forgiving, seems to have a zero-tolerance policy on the issue of child abuse.