Diaper Wars

Recently we were able to work up to the girls wearing only ‘big girl’ panties during school (which is only 2 and a half hours long) and staying dry.
But as soon as I got them home, they’d rip off the panties as though they were filled with live scorpions (God forbid), and demand diapers. If I tried witholding the diapers, they’d scream, cry, flail and wail.
So I usually caved in the face of toddler hysterics.
We tried stickers, pennies, the usual bribes, but nothing worked. Even reminding them that the diapers would get yucky didn’t work. We even went through our stack of ‘how wonderful the potty and big girl panties are’ books, but nothing did the trick.

So I pulled out the big guns.

The next school day, I took the girls up to one of their teachers, Miss ‘R’, and told her about the girls’ recidivism at home. Miss ‘R’ was suitably aghast. It was quite the performance (I hope), She emoted disappointment and dismay in an Oscar-worthy moment, and admonished the girls to wear the panties all the time, except for bedtime when diapers were allowed.

That afternoon, when we got home from school, and the girls went to take off their¬†panties and demand diapers, I reminded them that Miss ‘R’ would be ‘mad at Mama’, if she found out they didn’t wear their panties.

This time, THEY caved!

And everytime they showed signs of backsliding, I’d offer to call Miss ‘R’ on the phone and tell her.

The panties stayed on.

Feeling rather brave, my husband and I decided to test things out with a trip to the mall. We only took 2 emergency diapers, a couple of changes of pants and panties, and our new portable potty, and we were off.

Things went surprisingly well. Whenever the girls had to use the potty, they’d tell my husband and I, and we all trooped off in search of the ladies’ room. Since we had brought our own potty, which we set up in a (relatively) clean secluded corner of the ladies’ room, I didn’t have to worry about the pestilent filth that most public restrooms are covered in.

When my husband queried whether I thought the girls might be able to use the big toilets, I reminded him that A) they were too big, B) even with careful wiping down, those toilets couldn’t be considered clean unless a blowtorch was applied liberally, and C) the portable potty was easy to use.

By the time the mall closed, we thought the girls might sleep in the car, so we put diapers on them for the trip home. When we got home, however, we found that not only had the girls stayed awake, but that they were holding in the pee and desperate to use a potty so they wouldn’t wet their pants! They must have peed a lakeful each when we got inside.

Since then we’ve been doing pretty well and I guess we can consider them potty-trained! Now I just have to train them how to properly disinfect a public toilet, in preparation for pre-K, which they’ll be attending in September.

I wonder if they let preschoolers have blowtorches in school?


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