Hi Expectant New Mother of Multiples,
I’m sure that when you heard the news that you were pregnant with twins/triplets/quadruplets/or more, that along with the joy, there was a bit of shock and perhaps a little bit of worry at how you would be able to take care of that many babies!
I hope that this will help you feel more empowered about that.
Or maybe you’ve already given birth, or your babies have gotten a bit older, perhaps there is something here that may also help you out. This is for you, too:
I’ve got twin girls who are almost 4 yrs old. The following is information I’ve acquired by hard experience, that I really wish someone had told me about, back even before my girls were born.
In addition to getting your sleep and eating right (and remember the nutritional requirements are different for a twin pregnancy vs. a single one.),
The next priority is to get a support network rounded up. You need people you can trust to take care of the babies while you take a break. A minimum of three people (including yourself) is needed, so they can rotate taking care of the babies with taking a rest.
If you have friends or family who will be willing to take a shift after the babies are born, great! Or if you’re a single parent, you can see if your ex’s family would be willing to lend a hand with their grandkids, nieces/nephews. Now is not the time to let pride get in the way of survival.
Let’s say worst case scenario and you have none of the above.
My next piece of advice would be to join a church or synagogue or mosque, etc… now, before the babies are born, and be very friendly – those people may just be willing to help you out when the babies arrive. I know that may sound a bit opportunistic, but again: survival for you and your babies is a priority. And in providing nice people with a way to help others (yourself and your babies), you’re actually helping them out, too! 🙂
I ended up hiring a teen from our church (she had 4 younger siblings) who was homeschooling for her final year in highschool. She stayed with us during the week and slept over. She was available during the daytime and was great! On weekends she went back home. She was fine with $6 per hour and a reference letter she could use for job applications/college applications, plus whatever snacks she wanted along with meals.
Once she got sick and went home and her mom came and filled in for her. It was a great experience for us, and it was a safe way for her to try out living away from home, prior to college, but still have her family nearby.
Also, check to see if there is a local Mothers Of Multiples (MOMs) chapter near you, or a “Mom’s Club” (that’s what it’s called), or other parent or mom organization. Sometimes they can be very helpful arranging for hands on help, organizing meals for the first week the babies are home, getting clothing donations, etc…
Also you will need a support network that you can call for emotional support. Twins or more are hard work, but it can be done. I knew a single mother of triplets! (After turning out pregnant with trips, her husband ran out on her.) With the help of a local MOMs chapter, she managed to deal with everything.
Another resource is the local La Leche League. They might also be able to put you in touch with community resources or helpers.
You could also ask at your local library – they might know community resources or groups that could provide help of some sort.
Also, the guidance counselor from your highschool or college (even if you’ve graduated), or a favorite teacher, or a kindly neighbor are all people who at least could provide emotional and verbal support, and possibly more.
I’m sure that even your friends’ mothers would be willing to provide advice if needed.
You’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just get started on your support network. It’ll make things SO much easier down the road.
Feel free to contact me if you need to, my email is on my website in the “About Us” section listed on top.
Twice Blessed Life – Raising Twins Heartistically!
P.S. If you have any other ‘Must Have’ advice for a new or expectant mother of multiples, please leave a comment below