Here’s the latest letter I’ve written to my twins’ Pre-K teachers:
Dear Mrs. G and Mrs. K,
I just wanted to let you know that in addition to our ‘Stranger
Danger’ role-playing that we practice at home, we also teach the girls
that “Secrets” are not ok.
Private things and surprises are fine because those are things that
are shared in the family, or that are only meant to be kept quiet for
a short time, but “secrets” or “something you can’t tell to someone
else at all” are dangerous.
I’m sure you are aware that one of the earlier stages of predators
grooming a child is testing to see if they can keep a secret.
I’d rather it didn’t even get as far as a ‘test case’ for any predator
– that as soon as the “s” word is mentioned, our girls will inform
them that “secrets” are bad. That right there should be enough to let
any creep know that these are informed children, with watchful parents,
who are not good targets and they shouldn’t even try.
I understand that from time to time, lesson texts or storybooks
mention “secrets”, and I’m teaching the girls that the characters in
stories or shows are not real and don’t know everything.
So please don’t be surprised if one of the girls announces at that
point that “secrets” are bad. And please don’t give them conflicting
(and potentially life-endangering) messages like “Secrets are fine.”
Just a simple “This is a story that is not real, they use the word
“secret” but they really mean a “surprise”.” should suffice, or
When the girls are a little older they will understand a little
better, but right now they are so vulnerable, so we prefer to err on
the side of caution.
Thank you for your understanding.
May your life be doubly blessed!