Frankenstein’s Bride aka The Aftermath of Abdominal Surgery

Ow.

Let me repeat that to make sure you really get that…

O. Freakin’. W.

Major owwies here.

According to the surgeons who opened me up and put me back together again minus a few pounds of previous me-ness, the surgery was successful.

They repaired my torn abdominal muscles that were non-functional, stuffed my internal organs back into my body cavity from where they’d been hanging out making me look perpetually pregnant lo’ these past 6 years, dealt with the excess of way over-stretched-out skin, and sewed me back up.

It hurts to cough or sneeze, so of course my allergies are acting up to torment me.

Yes, by the way, this is a major kvetch-fest.  I think I deserve to have one.  Major abdominal surgery kinda puts one in that frame of mind.

And I have to sleep on my back with my top half propped up and my bottom half propped up so I’m not putting extra strain on the stitches keeping my guts from spilling out.

At least the two medical drains that they installed in me are now out – YIPPEE!!!! (I really hated those, can you tell?)

And for some reason, right after the surgery the pinkie toe on my left foot’s gone numb. No idea why. Maybe it’s acting out since my guts are getting all the attention. Who knows?

Everything’s still all sore and swollen and grotesque and it’ll be another couple of months at least until things approach normal, but at least the worst is over and at the end of all this, I’ll hopefully have functional abdominal muscles and thankfully won’t have my internal organs slopping around outside my body cavity any more.

Now I just have to wait and heal and go after the hospital’s financial department which overcharged me grossly on things they shouldn’t have.  I got passed around to 9different people the last time I called their financial department – all of them saying I have to contact the person basically sitting right next to them and they have no idea how I can do that.

Hooray!

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