Seems like I’m having to write a number of emails to the counselor of the elementary school my twins attend.
Here’s the latest one:
(*”Nellie’s” name has been changed and is not her real one.)
Hi Mrs. S,
I’m pretty steamed about this.
For awhile there, I thought we were doing pretty well with the “Nellie”* situation, Halle even received an invite to “Nellie’s” birthday party!
But today Halle informed me that “Nellie has reminded her once AGAIN (the last time was a few months ago) that she intends to travel to our apartment, break in and break all of Halle’s Dora the Explorer DVDs and the DVDs of any other show that “Nellie” thinks are “for babies”. (and yes, I’ve told Halle how improbable it is that “Nellie” could actually carry out such a thing, but Halle is afraid, nonetheless.)
Halle also has been letting me know on an almost weekly basis for the past month that “Nellie” has been telling her that The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus and Easter Bunny aren’t real, that it’s the mom that puts out all the presents and lies about it to the kids.
I told Halle to just tell “Nellie” to stop trying to ruin her fun, but “Nellie” is not so easily dissuaded. Since Halle has done her best to deal with this situation on her own, and the situation has once again devolved into “Nellie” threatening Halle, I’m now escalating it to you.
Look, I don’t know who ruined a big part of the fun of childhood for “Nellie, but that does not give her the right to try and undermine what I tell my kids.
I’ve done my best to circle around the issue because I do not want to lie to Halle if she ever, of her own volition, asks me if those characters are real or not, but I do not count this as Halle excercising her agency, but being coerced by peer pressure/bullying.
And I really resent being constantly put in this position!
I’ve mentioned it to you before and I’ll say it again – someone should seriously look into “Nellie’s” homelife. It seems like she’s having such a miserable experience of childhood that she’s acting out by trying to make other children miserable by crushing any innocent happy enjoyment of childhood experiences for them. “Nellie” is obviously not dealing too well with something in her life and is taking it out on Halle. Some kind of intervention is needed for “Nellie”. Is it really appropriate for a threat-making child like this who so resents others’ happiness to be placed in a class without additional supervision?
I would prefer to avoid confronting “Nellie’s” parents, or having to tell Halle that “Nellie” is dealing with unresolved emotional/mental issues, but this child does not have the right to ruin things for Halle, Zanna, my husband and I, the twins’ grandparents (all five of them), 14 uncles/aunts, 1 godmother, and 1 grand-aunt, and a number of older cousins (we’re not counting the Japanese grandaunts/granduncles).
The entire family is pretty upset by this! This will spoil a lot of the fun of family holidays. I even have a friend that sometimes calls the girls up pretending to be one of the characters, and my brother D. calls up all his nieces pretending to be Santa Claus every year!
I would really like for this to be substantially resolved before March 21st, which is the RSVP date for “Nellie’s” birthday party.
Short notice, I know, but the repeated threat was made today.
Like I said, I, and many others in my family are pretty steamed by this situation.
I appreciate your taking the time to read all of this. I know that you will give it the time and attention it needs so that my children are not further traumatized by this unhappy child and that “Nellie” can get the help and support she obviously is in desperate need of.