I just read the most unbelievable article, and sadly, it’s actually VERY
Basically, as though Starbucks coffee at $5 a pop wasn’t pricey enough, you can (if you’re evil) get “Civet Coffee” for $100 a pop. (or $300 for a pound of beans). But not from Starbucks, nope. You get it from demented, evil people somewhere.
Apparently, someone was strolling through the Indonesian rainforest one day, and noticed a coffee bean on the ground (I’m conjecturing here) and sniffed it, ground it up and brewed it and thought it had pretty decent “caramel” notes to the bouquet or something (I’m not a barista, can you tell?) and went back for more, only to find that the bean had been pooped out of the nether end of a civet – sort of a rainforest mongoose-like creature. Supposedly, the bean “fermented” while going through the critter’s digestive system and came out tasting pretty damn fine at the other end of the “supply chain”.
Logically, (according to SOMEONE’S logic – sure ain’t Mr. Spock’s logic, though) they thought that if only they could capture and cage the civets under horrific, inhumane conditions and full-time force-feed the coffee beans, that are usually only an occasional part of their diet, that they could repeat the “magic” and make money hand over fist from folks with too many dollars and not enough sense (cents – ha-ha? Pun, anyone?)
And I’m wondering, is this some kind of a DIY thing? Has anyone tried feeding, I dunno, their CAT some coffee beans and seeing if what pops out the other end in any way, shape or form resembles “caramel”? Honey, that ain’t “caramel”, it’s POOP!!! Get a pet or baby if you want that stuff and I guarantee that you’ll be up to your ears in it, in no time!
(By the way, just to be perfectly clear, I am in no way, shape or form suggesting that anyone feed their child, pet or any other living being something or too much of something that the living being would not normally be fed for an optimally healthy diet. Doing nasty things like that to living beings is wrong, wrong, wrong, SO wrong! Don’t do it! I’m also not suggesting that anyone should put anything that’s been in any being’s poop, in their mouth! And I’m also not suggesting that anyone get a pet or baby for the purpose of making them poop out coffee beans or anything else they wouldn’t normally be defecating. Gawd, why do I even have to put a disclaimer like this? Unfortunately, it’s rather likely that there’ll be at least one idjit out there who’d otherwise take these jokes as wonderful ideas and try to implement it unless they had it pointed out to them that that’s NOT A GOOD THING TO DO. smh)
As for caramel – why the hell is anyone torturing poor little civets to get “caramel” flavor in their coffee?!
Either just make it in your own kitchen with vanilla extract, sugar and water, or buy some cheap at the candy store and stir it into your cup o’ java!
Please people – boycott the hell out of this sh—ty product!
“Caramel”, my ass — oh wait, pardon, “caramel”, the CIVET’S ass!
Oh My Flipping Gerbils! Now I’m convinced the world’s gone nutters with a vengeance!
“A 2012 investigation by The Guardian newspaper found Indonesian civets held separately in cramped cages. The animals were force-fed a debilitating diet of coffee cherries in conditions described by the Traffic charity as “awful” and “horrific”. There is a campaign under way to encourage “ethical civet coffee”. Evidence suggests that the SARS virus crossed over to humans from Asian palm civets (“civet cats”) which raised concerns over the safety of civet coffee.” – Wikipedia