Category Archives: Raising twins

Self Care Is Not An Option – It’s Your Right To Say ‘No’ To Toxic People

pleaseing
Reinforce your boundaries and borders and your belief that it is entirely appropriate for you to have those. It is not selfish. You deserve to have those. Meditate on having confidence in your right to say ‘No’ to things/people.
 
Building up your foundations of self-preservation and self-empowerment should give you a boost in well-being, energy and overall life-balance/satisfaction. It should also boost your confidence in disengaging from toxic people/situations.
 
Choose one thing each day to do for you, externally and internally. You deserve it, you need it, it is healthy. It is not optional to practice self-care.
 
Right now, the number one priority is allowing yourself your inalienable right to say ‘No’ and the right to insist that your feelings, your needs are entirely valid.
 
If others can’t/won’t respect that, you don’t owe them explanations (They actually do know you have these rights but they get a kick out of watching you flail and exhaust yourself explaining this to them. It’s just more energy/power they can suck out of you, more control they have over you), so just walk away.
 
Your energy is better spent on you. <3 hugs <3

Hug-onomics – Where We’re Headed As A Global Society.

Let’s think about economics for a moment:  there are various instruments and forms of ‘value’ that are arbitrarily assigned to arbitrarily chosen symbols or objects that can be used in exchange for goods, services, trades, etc. Stocks, bonds, shiny rocks dug up out of the ground, mashed, dried, flattened and colored wisps of processed wood pulp, discs of refined metal ores, pretend ‘money’ dreamed up out of the ether of cyber networks – how is any of it significantly different from the wampum, cacao beans and grains of rice that were used as currency in past cultures?

No difference at all.  It is an artificial system, imposed because of a lack of trust and goodwill, inflicted upon us by greedy, suspicious folks with mega-issues who project their own deviousness in matters of trade, upon others and therefore insist on a form of accounting that they can keep in their sight and in their grasp.

For lack of this ‘money’, people sicken and go without medicine, they hunger, starve and die, live in extreme poverty, exposed to the elements and left to suffer and die, children are bought, sold, violated and murdered.

For want of this ‘money’, babies are injected at birth with poisons that hospitals know full well will result in injury and even death, our venerated senior citizens are abused and languishing in ‘nursing’ homes, despite money having been collected for their care.

For want of this ‘money’, wars are inflicted upon far-off lands, to seize resources that make a very few people even more bloated with ‘money’ than they already are,  bombs are hurled, buildings collapsed, environments are irradiated and floods are unleashed, because at the end of it all, it puts more ‘money’ in the pockets of a very, very, very few people.

Some would say that “Money is the root of all evil.”  It actually isn’t.  It’s the absence of love that is the root of evil.

We’ve already seen what the use of ‘money’ has done to our world, now how about we take a look at how LOVE, in place of ‘money’, would affect our world and our lives?

Imagine for a moment that in an instant, all the ‘money’ disappeared. In its place, hugs would be substituted.

Yes, you read that correctly – HUGS.

Hugs are now the lingua franca of finance and economics, the currency of trade, the unit of redemption for every kind of transaction under the sun.

Want a new tv? Walk into a shop and offer a hug (or a gesture of goodwill and respect, for those who are touch-averse). You walk out with a tv and both you and the shopkeeper have a warm glow in your hearts at having received a boost to your endorphins and the myriad other positive emotional, mental and physical benefits that hugs provide.

In an instant, there is no need for theft – what would a wanna-be thief do with 80 tv’s? Sell them? For what? All he’d get for them would be hugs and those are now free for the asking! So no more need for theft. Need food? A hug is the payment of choice. Even online transactions can use hug emoticons – those brighten up the screen when you see them, they’re so positive and cheery!

With all these hugs going around and bolstering the ‘economy’, folks are much more emotionally satisfied, less lonely, mentally more stable…what need for drug addiction or alcohol dependence?  No need for a war on drugs, heck – between the decrease in theft and the steady decline of addictions, and all the resultant crimes – soon the court systems won’t be as overloaded and the prisons will no longer be filling up with increasing numbers of inmates.  In fact, all those convicted of drug possession and thefts could probably be let loose, because it would be very unlikely that they’d backslide in the new ‘economy’!

No more homelessness, no more joblessness (Did you know that even now there are people who earn ‘money’ by hosting ‘cuddle parties’ and offering ‘hug therapy’?) What to study in school? Whatever brings joy to your heart! School is free in exchange for hugs!

Why not have job festivals where local vendors, artisans, practitioners, etc offer demos of what they do and offer internships to potential apprentices!  Oh look, Tony the Cheese Shop owner is looking for an apprentice to train because he’d like to retire and become a juggler! I’ll sign up for that!  After an apprenticeship has been completed, Tony can just hand over the keys to his establishment and his apprentice will now own the Cheese Shop!

Why not? It really IS that simple!

No crime, no hate, no politics for money, no holding back someone of promising skills, abilities, talents just because they can’t ‘afford’ the training or because the occupation doesn’t pay the same as the 3 other jobs a person would need to juggle to keep their family barely surviving.

Just people – happy, healthy, kind people, doing what they love, without artificial limitations holding them back from achieving their potential. Families without abuse, work environments without exploitation, a world without ‘money’.

Hug-onomics – it’s where we’re headed as a Global Society, and it’s a lot closer than you might think.

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“Hug-onomics” is copyrighted 2017 by L.D. Golubchik, all rights reserved.

(Pronounced “HUHG-oh-NAH-micks”)

Mama Gets A Piercing

or  Things About Piercing I Never Knew!

piercing

Mama needs a new pair of piercings

Recently I, a 40-something mommy of twin 4 yr olds, decided to visit a tattoo parlor.

No, I wasn’t there to get a ‘tat’ for myself.  Instead, I visited for their other specialty: body piercing!
Just regular, run-of-the-mill earlobe piercings though.  I’d been deprived of my earrings for a good while – 4 years, in fact – in fear that my twins would try to remove them the hard way, and in the meantime my piercing holes had closed up.  Now, finally, my kids are (barely) civilized enough to not rip out my earrings, so I needed to get my ears re-done.

And apparently the only safe way to do that, according to my research, was at a tattoo parlor or piercing studio.

Having chosen to forgo the ol’ ‘sewing needle and ice-cube’ method that I employed with my 2nd attempt at piercing my ears back in ’94, I first googled for the nearest mall chain-jewelry store where they have young women, still in the first flush of college-hood, wielding piercing guns with a jaded air.

Surprising info about mall-style piercing guns

It was during my online search for such a place, that I stumbled across some disturbing information: piercing guns are the WORST way to get a piercing done. (followed closely by the sewing needle method)

According to the APP (Assoc. of Professional Piercers) the guns cause excessive and unnecessary damage to earlobes and cartilage, and despite claims of being sanitary because of the disposable cartridges used, they are not autoclaved.  Autoclaving is the only reliable method of properly sanitizing surgical implements.

The problem of sanitation for cartridge-loaded mall-style piercing guns, is that they have ‘blowback’, the fine aerosolized spray of blood from the blunt force trauma of forcing the piercing through the flesh and cartilage, which stays on the gun and accumulates, user after user after user.

Such piercings are ripe for infections and contamination from blood-borne diseases.

Another problematic feature of the gun-piercings, according to Jorge, the pleasant young man at Jerzey Ink who performed my piercings one Saturday afternoon, is that the earrings themselves that are used with such guns have posts that are too short to allow for the initial swelling. This causes further tissue damage and makes it harder to keep the wound clean while it heals.  The APP also concurs on this point, as well.

Jorge demonstrated with his lip piercing. Indeed the post was a bit longer than what had been used on my ears with my 1st piercing which had been with a mall gun back in ’85, and there was a fair bit of clearance between the skin surface and the post clasp.

Well, Jorge really knew his business, because my ears did initially swell a bit, but were still comfortable and had plenty of room to do so. The swelling quickly went down by the next day, and when it came time to clean the wounds, the longer bar did make it much easier than had been my previous experience using standard sized earrings with my first and second attempts at piercing.

While going over the aftercare instructions, Jorge also cautioned me against another thing that I had done in my previous piercings – using hydrogen peroxide to clean my ears. Apparently it’s not the best choice in preventing or treating an infection with the piercings. He persuaded me to instead try the piercing aftercare spray sold in his shop.

Since he was so knowledgeable, I decided to put myself in his hands and trust him. And after perusing the spray bottle’s list of ingredients, I was quite relieved to find that there were no toxic or carcinogenic ingredients, such as propylene glycol, sodium benzoate or other harmful things commonly found in commercial cosmetic products.

This wasn’t what I thought a tattoo parlor would be like

Jerzey Ink, located in Harrison, NJ was also a lot different from what I expected a tattoo parlor to be. It was bright, spacious, with the clean lines of the minimalist decor giving an air of competent professionalism to the place. In fact, the entire place was scrupulously clean. There were no offensive images decorating the place, and it rather resembled an upscale salon.

The staff there were friendly, helpful, respectful and very patient with all of my questions. They also took no offense at my questions regarding their sanitizing procedures and volunteered to show me their latest spore-count report for the autoclave. They have it inspected every month, and it gets broken down and reassembled every other month.

Aftermath

It’s now several months later, and despite a small setback wherein I learned that I had a metal allergy and had to resort to hypo-allergenic post-holders, my ears are healing nicely without any of the problems I had with my first two attempts at ear piercing.

And so far my twins, after initially requesting a closer look at my earrings (“We’ll be gentle Mama, we promise!”), have left my ears alone. (Update: Lol! I can’t believe I fell for that! The earrings went back in the box once more and the holes have closed back up again. Going to have to get them re-pierced now that the kids are 10! 😀 )

So, if you’re in the market to get yours or your child’s ears pierced, I strongly recommend that you visit the Assoc. of Professional Piercers’ website first, to learn more about how to have a safe piercing.

(This is a re-print of an article I wrote a few years ago for a website that has since been discontinued.)

Redditgifts 2017 Snack Exchange Unboxing Vid & Giveaway! #Lowentry #Giveaway

2 box full of snacks

Recently, I’ve begun getting in touch with my inner geek and have started making YouTube videos about the things I geek out over. It’s been great fun and now I have my own channel!

One of the things that delights my geeky self are online gift-exchanges. 😀  Redditgifts.com has dozens each year for different themes, and this past month I signed up for two – yarn (which I did not make a video about, sorry! :D) and SNACKS!!!

This time, both my own Santa and the person I was Santa for, were Canadian! Yay! (Btw, if you sign up for an exchange and agree to accept international partners (it’s optional), beware of shipping costs! Shipping can be so pricey that it’ll be more expensive than the gift you’re sending!)

So here’s the unboxing vid I made of the Canadian snacks my Santa sent me, including some snacks, like Smarties and Wine Gummies, I’d only heard of on BBC shows!

 

At the end of the video, there’s a giveaway for a Star Trek Chibi 3-pack blind bag that is open to folks in the USA/CAN that ends on 4/28, so please enter and good luck!

Chibiinset

The Prize!

**Winner has two weeks to claim prize via contact form: https://geekerjoy1.wixsite.com/contact
or an alternate winner will be selected who will also have two weeks to claim prize via contact form.  If neither of the winners claim the prize within two weeks of being notified via either Youtube video announcement or reply to their comment, then the prize will be forfeit and go into an unclaimed prizes box which will be offered in a new giveaway at a later date.

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